2012 resolutions… my turn.. :)

Yeah.. This is the time when every sane individual feels overtly optimistic to set goals and resolutions and try sticking to them. Well, there is no reason for me to be different is it? I am detailing my goals in public so that there will be atleast some pressure on me to follow them.

Blog

This blog has been in existence for quite some time now. While this has not been the only blog that I have been working on, the activity has been fairly intermittent. One of my aims is to write atleast 3 articles per fortnight across my blogs. I know that the last time I started such an endeavour, it came up a cropper. I hope to do better than last time.

Dance classes

Some people have the inborn talent to flex their body as if it was just a rubber band. For me, the only part that flexes itself is my extra fat. :S. While my brain understood long back that dance is not exactly my forte, my heart has always wanted to be able to shake a leg atleast once in a while. Since it is the time of resolutions anyway, why not also add dance classes into this? I hope to enrol into some class atleast by this month end.

Musical instrument

Well, how can one appreciate dance without having a taste in music? I am sure that every person capable of hearing has been swayed atleast once by some kind of music. I am no different. While listening to music is itself an enjoyable past-time, playing your favorite music has its own attraction. My interest lies in the flute and I hope to learn the basics. To be definite about the expectations I set for myself, I would be happy if I learn just the basics of both dance and music. I have no dreams of going beyond that.

Swimming

This is something that I started last year and had to discontinue because of work pressure. I plan to complete the course by this year end. That is plenty of time considering that only a fortnight’s worth of classes is still left.

Trekking / Roadtrips

I have always been postponing this due to lack of company. Well, it is now or never. Hope to complete a minimum of 3 trekking / roadtrips by this year end. And that is just the minimum number.

Photography

This is not exactly a resolution. It is more akin to a “nice to have” feature. The plan is to click some nice photographs and create a mini-album. Given the number of items already on the list and the unexpected tasks that might arrive, I am temporarily putting it in the back-burner.

Twitter

The aim is to tweet atleast once in 3 days. The plan is to achieve this by the year end. But will somehow start working on it…. let us see how this all turns out….

Keeping my fingers crossed….

My tryst with the internet..

I was watching a youtube video by google that reviewed 2011. I have always been a fan of google and admired a variety of their products including the google doodles and a host of other applications that were recently shut down by them.. . The video made me think about my early trysts with the internet. I was still in school and had heard about the internet. I was already fascinated by computers and naturally, the concept of internet attracted me. Those days, the internet was still a luxury much like cell phones. I needed a strong reason to convince my parents to pay me for that one hour of internet access at a nearby internet center. The charge was 40 rupees per hour.

The opportunity came sliding under the door. A newspaper ad showcasing a website for education was the bait. Surprisingly, my parents agreed rather easily… a mystery that I have not been able to solve till this day . In summary, I was all set to embark on this new “adventure”. Trepidation filled me as I entered the huge and spacious building complex with the afternoon sun blazing into the central empty space of the complex. As soon as I entered the internet centre, I spotted 3 of my juniors working seriously on the system. Worse, they also spotted me. One of them immediately showed me some website and started jabbering away. Apparently, he thought that I knew more than him. I felt it would be an unforgivable offence to clear such a misconception . I nodded wisely and slipped away from them. I took a system at the far end of the system so that they would not come near me. I then gingerly switched on the monitor and glanced at all the icons on the dektop. I was filled with pride. I was about to accomplish a great task. I could hear the bands playing away in my honour (in my mind of course). I double-clicked on the internet explorer(IE) icon. The application opened slowly. The band’s music was getting louder… and then….CRASH!!!!!!. IE had opened some other site. I was unaware that there was some other site on the internet. Duh.  I sat there gaping at the  computer. In my eagerness to use the internet, I had totally forgotten about how to use the website name in Internet explorer. I had assumed (do not ask me how ) that IE would automatically open up the website that I wanted to see. Obviously IE had other ideas. It had opened a site called yahoo(if my memory serves me correct) about which I did not have the faintest clue. I closed IE and opened it again. Nope. Same result. This time I scanned through the entire screen to see if the website name I was looking for was also displayed somewhere. Another failure. I closed IE and opened netscape. Now, it opened some other site. *sigh*.

I peeked from my monitor and looked towards my juniors. They were busy with their work. My mind was at war with itself. On one hand, I wanted to learn about the internet and on the other, I had to maintain my pride. It was obvious which won. My pride. So , I stayed put in my seat focusing all my energy on the monitor to find the one way to access the website. I did that for the next 40 minutes. Then the moment of enlightenment came. I tried my luck at the “address bar” and Voila! The bands started playing again. The next 15 minutes, I spent at actually looking at the site.

At the end of the hour, I reached home with the air of someone who had single-handedly launched a satellite into space. My parents ultimately decided that 40 rupees was too costly. My tryst with the internet was put in abeyance. It would be some more time before which I could use the internet. This time, it was the sound of the dial-up modem. A sound that is no longer present. A sound that was replaced by a more silent ethernet card… :}

Bidding farewell

Recently, a friend and well-wisher of mine left his mortal coil. In age, he was almost my grandfather. But his zest for life was anything but old. He was a leader in his own way. He used to be surrounded by both young and old waiting for him to crack a joke with them or to take some advice. He always kept himself busy. He had been a family friend from my grandfather’s times and so my parents also liked him and adored him.

During my childhood, when we were far away from him, my father missed him. Having tasted his wisdom and affection, this was expected. I, on the other hand did not know much about him. To be honest, I did not care. I was more interested in watching chandrakanta and aladdin on doordarshan than interacting with him. The physical distance only served to add to the convenience.

As time passed by,I visited him, albeit irregularly. I still managed to keep a “safe distance” from him. But fate had other plans.Aided by a quirk of events and my father’s relationship with him, I had to stay with him for 2 years while I did my MBA. And the interactions during that time left me changed.

Initially, I was skeptic of his visitors.  Why anyone should be charmed by someone as old and fragile as him was beyond my brain. His unexplained “eccentricities” only served to add to the confusion. As time passed, I found a pattern. He always gave; he always helped…. with a smile. I never saw him spend a second in sorrow or regret. I never saw him take anything for himself.  At that time, the instant “comparision” feature in my brain immediately compared both of us. Needless to say, I felt small. Really small. And despite his knowledge and wisdom, his innocence clearly shone in his talk.

Before long, I knew that he was rubbing off on me. My behaviour and attitude changed and I looked forward to interacting with him. He gave me tasks which made me learn and improve myself. Save for a slight nudge here and there, he did most of his help behind my back allowing me to take credit for a lot of things. I, of course realised all this in hindsight. I was busy focusing on my studies and my feigned dislike of him. 2 years passed. I came home, albeit with the intention of going back and spending some “quality time” with him. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

I was unable to see him alive again. I was able to see only his body. Visitors had come to pay their last respects. Everybody was bemoaning the loss and recollecting how he had helped them overcome some of the worst time of their lives. He had helped them. Every single one of them. I also realised that I was also one of them. He had looked after me with so much affection and care. Maybe, I could have done more. Maybe. Maybe not.

Sometimes, it is very easy to say goodbye.

Sometimes, it is very hard hard.

Sometimes, you do not need to.

Daily post….

In an attempt to spruce my blogging capabilities and to make good use of free time, I have decided to take up the daily post challenge. This is the first post in that endeavor. I saw this challenge while browsing through some blogs. This has been started by wordpress to motivate people to blog more. They also seem to be providing topics and suggestions for blogging. While it might not be possible for me to post daily, it would definitely be worth giving a shot. So… keep visiting…

A Wish list!!!!!

My student life is now breathing its last few weeks’ breath. Estimating that I do start (or continue) a career that will leave me with surplus cash to spend, I am waiting to buy some items that I have  until now been drooling at on my computer screen. Some are fairly basic while others are a bit…um.. exotic.These include ( but not limited to)
•    An Ipad alternative
•    A cell phone (hopefully touch-based)
•    bike
•    Tennis Racquet
•    Some domain names (if things pan out well)
•    Books (lots and lots of them. I have a separate wishlist for this category)
•    A Stock portfolio ( for recreational and educational purposes )

The first on the list is something that is becoming more of a necessity for me. I have found it extremely difficult to carry along a laptop whenever I want to read some interesting stuff. And having a laptop also constrains me with the posture. And then there is also the matter of my eyes which become watery if I stare at the monitor for a long time. Since I spend a lot of time reading, it becomes a helluva problem. And Ipad though quite attractive to look at, is heavily priced. Therefore an ipad alternative. A cell-phone- well, it is 4 LONG YEARS since I bought a new cell phone and the market has changed topsy-turvy during that time.
I have been playing some decent tennis here and assuming that I get enough time and friends to continue this hobby, a nice tennis racquet is in the offing. Other items have been on my wish list for god knows how long. I had suspended them to save for my studies here. Now that my studies are done (regretfully) , I will be able to splurge on these things…. Only time can tell. But one thing is for sure…. The countdown has begun!!!!

Getting Ready for the last lap

After a hectic 20 days, I am getting ready for the final few months of my MBA course. From the time I spent slogging over CAT question papers, it has been a long journey. Ups and downs with twists and turns have been a constant companion during this period. Some relationships seemed to have moved on while others have arrived and yet another few have become stronger.

The two years of this MBA course itself has been a jam-packed journey at super-sonic speeds. The days have mostly been a race against time. The race though, has definitely been multi-flavored. The base flavour being academics has been accompanied with physical and mental fitness. If someone told my old friends that I play tennis and squash regularly besides working out at the gym, they  would be rolling in fits of laughter. Then, add more by telling that I have completed 10 Km marathon, have taken part in drama, designed drama sets, done spray painting. My friends will try t convince you that you are talking about a totally different person.

That said, the journey has not always been about scaling new peaks. I have sometimes been in valleys as well. I have happened to discover a gamut of areas where my “talent” is absolutely hopeless and few others where just a sliver of hope still remains. There are some surprising areas where I happen to have overestimated my capabilities and others where the contrary is true. An example of my over-estimation is the people communication area where apparently, I still have a lot of ground to cover. On the whole though, I happen to be rated on a much better scale than what I gave myself credit for.

While ruminating on the past might help in learning a few lessons, it sometimes does little to reduce the uncertainty of the future. I still have to take a few small decisions that are going to have a huge impact on how my life turns out to be. The decisions have to be made carefully when the time comes. But until then, I plan to enjoy my present – the last lap of my academics life…. (I guess… )

Easier said than done

In recent times, I have been both busy and bored. Add frustrated to the list. I somehow had this notion that a MBA will give me a lot of knowledge and somehow change me from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. As my MBA program nears to an end, I realise that I still see myself as an ugly duckling. Also, a MBA, or a Phd or even the Nobel peace prize is not going to change it. I need to change my view of myself. I guess my college and my hostel does that to everyone. I see that some of my classmates are in awe of me. I don’t understand why. I also see that some others are equally disgusted by me. I don’t understand that either.

My interactions and observations with my other roomates make me realize that I am not so bad as I make out myself to be. And accepting that perspective would make my life a much better one. At the same time, it has brought a lot of my fallacies to light; fallacies which I thought I was incapable of. For instance, I felt that I get on very well with everyone. But my experiences show that I have very low tolerance for stupidity. Forget others, I don’t seem to go easy on even myself when I do something stupid.  Accepting that mistakes happen and that it is quite OK to make mistakes is a lesson I am learning. At the same time, I also KNOW that I behave much more responsibly in work and otherwise than some people whom I had put on a high pedestal after forming some quick (rather too quick opinions).

This MBA might not have transformed me into that beautiful swan. But it has certainly given me a lot of fodder to eat and change myself. Now, all I need is to actually change myself. Easier said than done .

MBA, stress, life and humour

My, my… This academic year, I am searching for something called time. And whenever I find bits and pieces of it, it is accompanied by huge chunks of work that will definitely not fit in. But again, I am expected to fit them in, do a wonderful job and still have time for some extra-curricular activities. I am getting to sleep at 1:30 in the night and wake up at 5 in the morning. A lot of jugglery, a lot of stress; but I am LOVING it. Crazy, as it might sound, it is actually teaching me a lot of things. I am learning to be unconcerned about what might happen in the future. I focus ( or rather am forced to) only on this instant. I learn to be unconcerned about the results. Brooding or celebrating the results of your work requires time, you see..

Then there is this quest for a challenge that I have always been looking for. Having my hands full and coordinating multiple tasks keeps your hands full and the learning is immense. Also, when there is too much mental exertion, I take rest by physically exerting myself. Trust me, it  makes the time so worthwhile. You enjoy the time, your body stays fit and the mind gets some rest. Then continue your work. At the end of the day, when you lie down on your bed, sleep comes instantly. Doing this on a daily basis has given me such immense satisfaction that I have begun to wonder what I will do when all this gets over. But again that also lasts for an instant. Well, I have to rush now. I have 2 presentations to make, 3 articles to read and a 6credit project to work on…. ciao!!!!

P.S: I have left out the humour part, but i really dont have the time to comment on it… maybe some time later… 

Democracy and us

The inflation is the latest in the series of challenges that the government is facing. The government has run into a number of problems recently including the Bhopal gas tragedy and the naxal attacks. What surprised me was the fact that the opposition was not making much noise about it whatsoever. One of the reasons for a democracy’s success is the opposition’s ability to make the government answerable and take remedial actions.

But apart from some lifeless attacks in the media, there has not been any concrete action from the opposition.

That said, what about individuals like you and me? Are we free from any responsibility. All said and done, we are in one way or the other responsible for the government.

What can we as individuals do to change this type of fallacies that keep on recurring indicating the inefficiency of the government…… I wonder…..

Gone With the wind – 2009

One More year has gone past….

one more year..with some rude shocks and some pleasant surprises..

One more year – Some good news and some bad news

ISB came and went – despite all encouragement by readers.. i was not even called for an interview -  so did SP jain ( that was the ruder shock)

Becoming voluntarily unemployed ( left my job..   ) – Sad news

Joined my MBA education – Happy news

enjoying student life -  Pleasant surprise

Friends becoming more busier -  expected shock

friends  still staying in touch  – surprise  ( cute and much needed surprise.. and joy)

Working myself out ( physically and academically )  – Good News

Limited Theatres and Music – Bad News

Wasted my time – Bad News

Dont care a damn about it – Good News